Super stories
The Abandoned
House
Nouns and adjectives
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Hi!

Welcome to Super Stories
Incorporated. I'm Dave Briggs,
the publishing director.
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Have you been told your role here?

You're going to be my editor. Your
job is to read through some of the
new stories we want to publish and
make them more exciting.
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Some of our stories are a little … dull.

It's your task to make the text and illustrations in them more vivid and engaging.
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Let's get started.
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Here's one of our stories. It's a horror story that should be really gripping, but some parts of the story are a bit flat.

Read it and see what you think.
The
Abandoned
House
Back
Here's one of our stories. It's a horror story that should be really gripping, but some parts of the story are a bit flat.

Read it and see what you think.
His heart beating furiously, Miles sneaked through the garden till he could make out the old house in front of him.

He crept silently onto the porch and pushed the oak door, hearing the hinges groan as it slowly opened.
Back
Here's one of our stories. It's a horror story that should be really gripping, but some parts of the story are a bit flat.

Read it and see what you think.
He stepped cautiously into the dark hallway, and gazed around at the pictures of long dead people staring blankly at him from the walls.

He made his way to the foot of a staircase and nervously began to climb the stairs. His hands were sweating as he gripped the dusty railing to steady his steps.
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Here's one of our stories. It's a horror story that should be really gripping, but some parts of the story are a bit flat.

Read it and see what you think.
Suddenly Miles felt a draft and there, looming threateningly before him, was a thing unlike anything he had ever seen before.

Its white face was surrounded by a mane of matted hair, its eyes glowed with a red shine, and from its face came an expression of pure harm.
Back
Here's one of our stories. It's a horror story that should be really gripping, but some parts of the story are a bit flat.

Read it and see what you think.
For a brief moment Miles was completely transfixed. Then, as he tried to run, the creature flung itself at him and grabbed him viciously around the throat.

As Miles struggled desperately to escape its clutching fingers, he heard the creature give a laugh. With all his strength, Miles wrenched his body free and ran from the horrifying thing.
Back
Here's one of our stories. It's a horror story that should be really gripping, but some parts of the story are a bit flat.

Read it and see what you think.
Through the door and across the porch Miles flew, his breath catching painfully in his throat. Back through the bushes and out onto the road until he saw the lights of his own house gleaming in the cold night air.

Then he stopped and peered back through the dark. What was that? What exactly had he seen? Would he ever know for sure?
Back Done
As you can see, it's not bad. There's some good scary action, but the descriptions could be much better. Some of the nouns and adjectives need changing. That's where you come in.

Let's begin.
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The first words I'd like you to edit are the nouns.

So … what makes a good noun?
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Nouns are words that name people, places and things. Nouns tell us what the story is about, who’s in it and where they are.

'Man' is a noun – so are 'house', 'door' and 'path'. We can choose nouns that tell our readers how we want them to think about something.
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Here's an example.

Look at how the choice of nouns below changes how the reader thinks about who or what is involved in this scene. One choice is much scarier than the other.
'A fish was coming towards the swimmers.'
'A shark was coming towards the swimmers.'
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Select the book to begin!
The
Abandoned
House
Back
Select a noun to edit it.
His heart beating furiously, Miles sneaked through the till he could make out the old in front of him.

He crept silently onto the porch and pushed the oak door, hearing the hinges groan as it slowly opened.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a noun that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select a noun to edit it.
He stepped cautiously into the dark hallway, and gazed around at the of long dead people staring blankly at him from the walls.

He made his way to the foot of a staircase and nervously began to climb the stairs. His hands were sweating as he gripped the dusty to steady his steps.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a noun that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select a noun to edit it.
Suddenly Miles felt a draft and there, looming threateningly before him, was a unlike anything he had ever seen before.

Its white face was surrounded by a mane of matted hair, its eyes glowed with a red , and from its face came an expression of pure .

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select a noun to edit it.
For a brief moment Miles was completely transfixed. Then, as he tried to run, the creature flung itself at him and grabbed him viciously around the throat.

As Miles struggled desperately to escape its clutching , he heard the creature give a laugh. With all his strength, Miles wrenched his body free and ran from the horrifying .

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select a noun to edit it.
Through the door and across the porch Miles flew, his breath catching painfully in his throat. Back through the bushes and out onto the road until he saw the lights of his own gleaming in the cold night air.

Then he stopped and peered back through the . What was that? What exactly had he seen? Would he ever know for sure?
Done

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Congratulations! That's all of the nouns completed. That certainly sounds a lot better!

Select Next to go to the next task.
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The next words I'd like you to edit are the adjectives.

So … what makes a good adjectives?
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Adjectives are linked to nouns to
tell more about them. 'Happy' is
an adjective – so are 'red', 'large'
and 'terrifying'.

We can choose adjectives to describe what something or someone looks or sounds like. We can also show our opinions of people and things with adjectives.
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Here's an example.

Look at how the choice of adjectives below changes how the reader thinks about what's happening in this scene.
' A friendly dog ran up to
the fence. '
' A vicious dog ran up to
the fence. '
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Select the book to begin choosing adjectives.
The
Abandoned
House
Back
Select an adjective to edit it.
His heart beating furiously, Miles sneaked through the undergrowth till he could make out the old mansion in front of him.

He crept silently onto the porch and pushed the oak door, hearing the hinges groan as it slowly opened.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select an adjective to edit it.
He stepped cautiously into the dark hallway, and gazed around at the potraits of long dead people staring blankly at him from the walls.

He made his way to the foot of a staircase and nervously began to climb the stairs. His hands were sweating as he gripped the dusty banister to steady his steps.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a adjective that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select an adjective to edit it.
Suddenly Miles felt a draft and there, looming threateningly before him, was a monster unlike anything he had ever seen before.

Its white face was surrounded by a mane of matted hair, its eyes glowed with a red glare, and from its face came an expression of pure evil.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select an adjective to edit it.
For a brief moment Miles was completely transfixed. Then, as he tried to run, the creature flung itself at him and grabbed him viciously around the throat.

As Miles struggled desperately to escape its clutching talons, he heard the creature give a laugh. With all his strength, Miles wrenched his body free and ran from the horrifying fiend.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select an adjective to edit it.
Through the door and across the porch Miles flew, his breath catching painfully in his throat. Back through the bushes and out onto the road until he saw the lights of his own home gleaming in the cold night air.

Then he stopped and peered back through the gloom. What was that? What exactly had he seen? Would he ever know for sure?
Done

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Congratulations! That's all of the adjectives completed. Your changes have made the story much more scary and tense.

Select Next to go to the next task.
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The last part of the story I'd like you to work on are the illustrations.

So … what makes a good illustration?
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Illustrations need to be dynamic and help tell the story.

Sometimes illustrations exactly represent the words in the story. Or they can show things the words don't say, so you get more out of a story.
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Here's an example.

Look at how the choice of illustration bellow changes the reader's image of what's happening in the story.
'The terrifying shark was thrashing violently towards the unfortunate swimmers'.
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Select the book to begin!
The
Abandoned
House
Back
Select an illustration from the Gallery to try it on the page.

Select Check when you have chosen the illustration you want to use.
His heart beating furiously, Miles sneaked through the undergrowth till he could make out the deserted old mansion in front of him.

He crept silently onto the porch and pushed the heavy oak door, hearing the hinges groan as it slowly opened.
Check

That's not the best choice.

Look for an illustration that makes the mansion and garden look overgrown and creepy.

Try again
Select an illustration from the Gallery to try it on the page.

Select Check when you have chosen the illustration you want to use.
He stepped cautiously into the dark hallway, and gazed around at the portraits of long dead people starting blankly at him from the walls.

He made his way to the foot of a staircase and nervously began to climb the creaking stairs. His hands were sweating as he gripped the dusty banister to steady his faltering steps.
Check

That's not the best choice.

Look for an illustration that makes the mansion and garden look overgrown and creepy.

Try again
Select an illustration from the Gallery to try it on the page.

Select Check when you have chosen the illustration you want to use.
Suddenly Miles felt a draft and there, looming threateningly before him, was a monster unlike anything he had ever seen before.

Its deathly white face was surrounded by a mane of matted hair, its eyes glowed with a ghastly red glare, and from its face came an expression of pure evil.
Check

That's not the best choice.

Look for an illustration that makes the mansion and garden look overgrown and creepy.

Try again
Select an illustration from the Gallery to try it on the page.

Select Check when you have chosen the illustration you want to use.
For a brief moment Miles was completely transfixed. Then, as he tried to run, the hideous creature flung itself at him and grabbed him viciously around the throat.

As Miles struggled desperately to escape its clutching talons, he heard the creature give a gruesome laugh. With all his strength, Miles wrenched his body free and ran from the horrifying fiend.
Check

That's not the best choice.

Look for an illustration that makes the mansion and garden look overgrown and creepy.

Try again
Select an illustration from the Gallery to try it on the page.

Select Check when you have chosen the illustration you want to use.
Through the door and across the porch Miles flew, his breath catching painfully in his dry throat. Back through the bushes and out onto the road until he saw the welcoming lights of his own home gleaming in the cold night air.

Then he stopped and peered uncertainly back through the gloom. What was that? What exactly had he seen? Would he ever know for sure?
Check

That's not the best choice.

Look for an illustration that makes the mansion and garden look overgrown and creepy.

Try again
Done
Congratulations! You've chosen illustrations that really highlight the horror of this story.

The book is now finished!
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You've learned how to make a story tense and exciting by choosing effective nouns, adjectives and illustrations.

You can use this knowledge to improve all your stories.
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Thanks for your help. I think it'll be a bestseller!

You can read or print your finished story, or select Worksheet to print out a different story that needs some work on its noun
and adjectives.
Back Start again
The
Abandoned
House
Back
His heart beating furiously, Miles sneaked through the undergrowth till he could make out the deserted old mansion in front of him.

He crept silently onto the porch and pushed the heavy oak door, hearing the hinges groan as it slowly opened.
Back
He stepped cautiously into the dark hallway, and gazed around at the portraits of long dead people starting blankly at him from the walls.

He made his way to the foot of a staircase and nervously began to climb the creaking stairs. His hands were sweating as he gripped the dusty banister to steady his faltering steps.
Back
Suddenly Miles felt a draft and there, looming threateningly before him, was a monster unlike anything he had ever seen before.

Its deathly white face was surrounded by a mane of matted hair, its eyes glowed with ghastly red glare, and from its face came an expression of pure evil.
Back
For a brief moment Miles was completely transfixed. Then, as he tried to run, the hideous creature flung itself at him and grabbed him viciously around the throat.

As Miles struggled desperately to escape its clutching talons, he heard the creature give a gruesome laugh. With all his strength, Miles wrenched his body free and ran from the horrifying fiend.
Back
Through the door and across the porch Miles flew, his breath catching painfully in his dry throat. Back through the bushes and out onto the road until he saw the welcoming lights of his own home gleaming in the cold night air.

Then he stopped and peered back through the gloom. What was that? What exactly had he seen? Would he ever know for sure?
Back
The End
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